Self confidence tips - How I deal with mean comments and self image/body issues

quarta-feira, 2 de julho de 2014
Self Confidence tips
Hello my lovelies! This post is going to be about self confidence. I recently made a video on my portuguese youtube channel and I believe it would be a good idea to translate some of my thoughts in one blog post, for my international fellas. Keep reading the post to know my tips on improving your self confidence and body image.
Olá! Hoje venho partilhar convosco o meu vídeo mais recente, 
acerca de auto confiança. Cliquem para ver o vídeo!

The first thing people seem to think of when we talk about self confidence is appearance and body image. I understand that most of us, specially girls, tend to rely on certain accessories, clothes, quick tools that gives us an easy boost on our confidence on times we feel more self conscious.
I do believe makeup and clothes have an important influence in the way we look at ourselves and others but I don't think we should keep relying on our appearance in order to feel good about ourselves.
Appearance is something really fragile, if you think about it, specially because we're eventually grow older so there's not much you can do to beat wrinkles, flaccid skin... Our body will change and we should recognize our age and embrace it for what it is. Also, even when we are young and can use the fresh and trendy look in our favor, there's always going to be someone that will try to put us down by saying we are not pretty or fashionable enough.

That's why I believe the key is in the way you think. I realized I was depending to much on my appearance to feel good about myself, so I started to rely more on my skills and abilities. I think that when you start looking at yourself as a person, being confident at your personal skills, you'll start getting confidence from the inside, instead of the outside. I can trust a lot more on my skills than the beauty of my body.

But how do you start feeling confidence about the person you are in the inside? By trusting what makes you who you are: your personality, your skills and abilities. In my case, I always trusted my brains. It's something that really defines me as a person and I know I can always rely on my intelligence to get throw harder challenges.

Here's an example from my past:

The first day I went to school wearing glasses, a boy started being mean to me. Back at that time girls didn't wear glasses since it would be considered extremely uncool. I decided I would wear them anyway and what I first heard from a classmate on that day was: "Jesus, you look so much prettier with glasses than you were already!" He was obviously being sarcastic, I got hurt by that comment but I replied anyways: "Thank you, I also think my glasses look great on me. Your shoes are nice too!" He got confused because I acted more confidant that I actually was. Since he had such a confused expression, the two friends that were next to him started laughing at him. He didn't get my sarcasm fast enough so he ended up looking dumb. It was not due to my self image confidence that I managed to defend myself, it was thanks to my confidence on my personal skills, in this case my brains.
I'm also a big fan of the quote fake it until you make it, sometimes you have to force confidence to grow on you or it just won't happen! I've noticed that a lot of the people that act more confident than they are, eventually become more confident than most of us.

I also have another skill that I really trust and always gives me the strength and confidence I need, it's my intuition. I can always tell when people are trying to deceive me. Even when someone is just trying to omit something, I have this hunger for truth that makes my intuition work as a lying machine and, even when it takes time, I always get to the hidden facts. After I find out what people do and say behind my back, even though I always feel very hurt on the inside, this skill gives me the confidence and facts I need to quickly move on and erase fake relationships from my life. My intuition has never let me down and it makes me a stronger person everyday. I like keeping things real, and this is how I maintain a certain standart on my life. No space for fake friends or lying (ex)boyfriends.

Another concept I think it needs to be kept close to self confidence is INDEPENDENCE. You need not to depend on someone else's opinion about your beauty, you need to believe in your beauty by yourself. If you're going to depend on someone else's words to feel beautiful, you will depend on those words even when they're bad to you.

I hope that, even if you guys are that confident in yourselves, you'll see that being confident is a journey, you need to work hard for it and keep making yourself stronger. I worked as hard for my confidence as I worked for the my finals! I know that a lot of us think that concepts like confidence and happiness are something that just happen to exist on every human being, but that's not truth. Most of us (if not all of us) need to plant little seeds and help those concepts grow in ourselves. I hope you will dedicate time and effort in this growing process, like you do in all other things in life.

Hopefully this huge text will help some of you guys,
let me know your opinion on this topic by using the text box below.

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