My experience with body shaming

segunda-feira, 30 de novembro de 2015

I was happy to bump into this campaign this morning, made by the fellow blogger The Militant Baker.
It's no secret that Google Auto Complete says a lot about our society, just check out this list to know what I'm talking about.
Now when the conversation is about weight...Google search bar makes the body shaming clear.
With this in mind, the blogger decided to start a campaign called "Bodies aren't Ugly, Bullying is".
These are some of the pictures, and I must say, some of them really caught me by surprise.

This is the sad reality of our society. Big ladies and men are considered ugly, unhealthy, disgusting and expected to be laughed at. I've heard people saying, over and over "they just need to get a tougher skin". It's not a matter of them being sensitive or not, it's a matter of YOU being respectuful towards someone else. If it's not your body, if it's not your life, so it's not up to you to judge.

Now the picture above obviously caught my eye since I've always been skinny. I can't talk much about how it is to be fat, how does it feel to be ashamed of your curves because I had none growing up.

The only thing I can do, is tell you my personal experience with body shaming.

Even if I have a different body size, the body shaming was as damaging to me as anyone else.
I was always the skinniest in the room since I remember and back in the day guys really didn't like skinny "tumblr girls". Feeling validated by guys was something that felt important for every girl in my class, including myself. I am sorry for me and all my classmates that felt this way, I know better now and I don't feel like I need a man to value myself or my body, I know I'm not an object that needs someone else's approval. But back then, I felt like being validated by guys was necessary in order to become a real woman.  

This picture reminded me how much my family members and class mates used to ask me about my diet. They kinda assumed I was anorexic, bulimic or that didn't eat at all. They never thought about my genetics, for instance, one of the main reasons why I am so tall and skinny, or my fast methabolism. Of course the other reason was my anxiety disorder, which doesn't allows me to eat in large quantities, but I din't know about that either at the time.
The comments used to bother me so much that I only started wearing a bikini when I turned 16, before that I would always hide my body in swimming suits.
I remember being 18 and eating a lot of junk food in order to put on some weight. My meals would be hamburguers, fried snacks, bread...I would skip everything healthy because I just wanted to gain fat. Guess what happened?! I didn't get any bigger, I just got myself cellulite and stretch marks, something I never had before. So the next year I was feeling not only insecure about my skinny figure but also about my butt cellulite and stretch marks.

This is what I got for trying to look more attrative to others, and it gave me a big lesson.
If you're healthy, that's all that matters. 
If you are not healthy, get help from a professional nutritionist, personal treiner, etc.
Even if I had little body fat, I was always healthy, my mom can prove it as a doctor. But the comments really hurt my feelings and messed up my head, specially when I would hear it from adults. Sometimes it still gets me, like two years ago, when I opened a door to an aunt. I said: "Hi aunt! How are you doing?" to what she replied "I'm good, but you're not! Jesus, you need to put some weight on those skinny legs, you're all bones."
She's a mother, she's an adult, shouldn't she know better than this? The situation really made me feel like a teenager again, I felt so "body conscious" for days. I wanted to hide my body all over again, and I was already 23 years old.

I wanted to end the list with this picture. Stop making "skinny vs fat people" a thing. Don't place us in a fight none of us want to be in!
I feel like one of the reasons why this happens is due to the way media wants to spread the message "fat people = real people". For me all people are real people, so when Dove launched the campaign above I got really annoyed because they were only calling real those with large curves. What do you mean by that, are skinny women not real?

Skinny people aren't against fat people, period! But the media are spreading the wrong message all around us, so some of us get this wrong idea that if you're skinny, you must hate fat people and vice versa. Just take a closer look to the famous song from Meghan Trainor - It's all about the bass. The lyrics are pretty obvious, when she sings:

"You know I won't be no stick-figure, silicone Barbie doll(...)
Go ahead and tell them skinny bitches Hey
No, I'm just playing I know you think you're fat" 

As much as I find this gif funny and fabulous, I still feel that the media is giving this issue the wrong perspective.

To celebrate a body size you don't need to demean the the other silhuetes.
Just embrace variety!

Have you experienced body shaming? Share you thoughs on the comment section below.

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